Embarassing moment of the week

8 Aug

Ok, this actually happened last week. Even I am not so good as to have managed to embarass myself in the first few hours of this week while sitting on my couch.

Our apartment is in a very nice complex. Nice gym, great common areas, beautiful pool. Last Thursday I decided, for the first time, to head out to the pool for a few hours in the afternoon. Laundry was done, dishes were clean and I had had my fill of window shopping for the week. And there were no good marathons on Bravo. (Real Housewives of New Jersey is this morning’s entertainment.)

So, I put on my bathing suit, packed my pool bag and spent 15 minutes twisting and turning in front of the mirror trying to put sunscreen on my own back. (We were out of the spray kind. And apparently I need to take up yoga.) I put the dog away and headed to the pool.

The pool, like most, is gated. Getting in seemed simple enough. There is a handle. Turn, push, enter.

Apparently not. How about I try that again. Turn, push, nothing.

Ok, I’m a smart girl. Maybe the handle should turn the other way? Nope. Well, there’s a lock on it. Let’s put the key in and turn. Hmm…nothing.

Am starting to feel kinda dumb. Ok really dumb. I have been messing with this gate for a good 2-3 mintues. I keep looking over my shoulder to see if anyone is watching. Fortunately all the windows have blinds on them but I’m convinced there is a whole crowd of people behind them laughing at the moron who can’t open a gate.

I have three years of private school and a college degree and I can’t open a gate? Sorry, Mom and Dad. Guess all that schooling was a waste. I give up in defeat and go back upstairs. That night I told Jacob about my massive fail…at which point he laughs hysterically.

The next morning while walking the dog I notice the maintenance folks going in and out of the pool area with apparently no trouble. So as I pretend to wait for Harley (who keeps looking at me like “I’m done now. We can go.”) and I keep an eye on the gate. Finally I realize why I couldn’t get the gate open.

This is a sneaky gate designed to make people look stupid.

The handle? Yeah, you turn it but you push the section of the fence NEXT to the handle. Stupid, tricky gate. If you turn a door handle you don’t then open the wall next to it.

That night, as we were walking in from dinner, Jacob said “Oh yeah, I figured out how to open the gate for you. You have to push the section of the gate next to the handle.”

Me: “I watched the maintenance guys do it this morning. Stupid gate.”

Him: “Don’t worry…I almost had trouble too.”

Me: “Really?”

Him: “Um…Sure.”

I suspect he only said this so I wouldn’t feel quite so dumb. Too late.

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