Happy Birthday to Me!

18 Sep

Today is my birthday. I am 30.

No, wait. That can’t be right. Let’s see…2012-1982=….30?

No. That’s wrong. It must be. I’m bad at math. Really bad.

So…it can’t be. I cannot be 30.

If I am 30 that means I am a Grown Up. Capital letters. That means it’s all important and official.  I CANNOT be a Grown Up.

When you’re a Grown Up you are all mature and responsible. When you’re a Grown Up you have your shit together. When you’re a Grown Up you don’t watch ABC Family obsessively. When you’re a Grown Up you don’t eat four cupcakes on your birthday just because they’re there and they’re delicious and you can.

I am so not a Grown Up.

The extent of my Grown Up-ness consists of going to work. And drinking wine. That’s kind of Grown Up-y.

Most of the time, ok all of the time, I feel like I’m a kid and I’m just pretending to be an adult. I keep waiting for someone to walk in and say, “Ok, enough. You have no idea what you’re doing!”

At which point I will issue a classic, super Grown Up, response. “DUH!”

Of course I have no idea what I’m doing. I’m making it up as I go along and hoping like I hell that I get it right and that everyone else is doing the same thing and is too busy making up their thing to notice that I have no idea what I’m doing.

I have a lot more to say on this topic but I think I’m going to go to bed. I have a tummy ache. Probably because I am not a Grown Up and I DID eat four cupcakes today.

So…to be continued…probably…maybe…we’ll see…but you know how I am…so don’t count on it….but I’m a Grown Up now so maybe I’ll surprise you…or maybe not.

Breakfast of champions…and Grown Ups!


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