Gym Rant

14 Jan

You read that right, this is a gym rant. I have not become a gym RAT. Never gonna happen.

I hate the gym in January. Hate it more than usual, I mean. So here is my rant.

January at the gym sucks. A lot. Seriously.

I mean, good for all you normally lazy people who make the NewYear’s resolution to go to the gym. Credit for trying. But let’s face it…90% of you are going to give up by March.

So…can we just hurry up and get to the giving up part?

Seriously….you are in my way and getting on my nerves. You are loud. You take up all the equipment. And many of you are literally a safety hazard to yourself and others, including me. Mainly me.

Go away. I appreciate that you’re trying. Really I do. But do you have the commitment to stick with it? No, you don’t.

I’m not knocking you…I don’t blame you. I’m not committed either…my regular attendance at the gym is simply an unfortunate side effect of my commitment to cupcakes.

What I am saying is…since you’re going to give up anyway…make all our lives more pleasant and do it now. Or come when I’m not there. (Monday-Friday 6pm-well…let’s say 9:00pm to be safe and you should just avoid weekends altogether.)

Also, new people? Please stop talking to me! I do not want to talk to you at the gym. See the book in front of me? And the way I avoid eye contact? And give one word answers to everything you say? Leave me alone. Please.

Normally, I think of myself as a people person. But at the gym? Nope. I hate you. All of you. Yep, you too.

The rant in my head was longer when I was at the gym. But I’m done…for now.


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