Happy Birthday to Me!

Today is my birthday. I am 30.

No, wait. That can’t be right. Let’s see…2012-1982=….30?

No. That’s wrong. It must be. I’m bad at math. Really bad.

So…it can’t be. I cannot be 30.

If I am 30 that means I am a Grown Up. Capital letters. That means it’s all important and official.  I CANNOT be a Grown Up.

When you’re a Grown Up you are all mature and responsible. When you’re a Grown Up you have your shit together. When you’re a Grown Up you don’t watch ABC Family obsessively. When you’re a Grown Up you don’t eat four cupcakes on your birthday just because they’re there and they’re delicious and you can.

I am so not a Grown Up.

The extent of my Grown Up-ness consists of going to work. And drinking wine. That’s kind of Grown Up-y.

Most of the time, ok all of the time, I feel like I’m a kid and I’m just pretending to be an adult. I keep waiting for someone to walk in and say, “Ok, enough. You have no idea what you’re doing!”

At which point I will issue a classic, super Grown Up, response. “DUH!”

Of course I have no idea what I’m doing. I’m making it up as I go along and hoping like I hell that I get it right and that everyone else is doing the same thing and is too busy making up their thing to notice that I have no idea what I’m doing.

I have a lot more to say on this topic but I think I’m going to go to bed. I have a tummy ache. Probably because I am not a Grown Up and I DID eat four cupcakes today.

So…to be continued…probably…maybe…we’ll see…but you know how I am…so don’t count on it….but I’m a Grown Up now so maybe I’ll surprise you…or maybe not.

Breakfast of champions…and Grown Ups!

Things I’ve Killed and Other Stuff

Please don’t ask me to water your plants. Or check on them while you’re out of town. Or to do anything regarding anything that grows in the ground.

Unless you’re sick of it and want it dead. Then I’m your girl.

I have killed a number of things since I started work. Okay, it’s not really work’s fault. I just tend to kill things. Plant-y things, I mean.

Green thumb? No…more like Black Thumb of Death.

Below is evidence in the upcoming murder case.

Exhibit A. Yellow Rose. Cause of death: Homicide.

Exhibit B. Black Thumb of Death strikes again!

Exhibit C. Cut roses. So not my fault!

In, other news, today is the last day of my twenties. I spent it doing super fun stuff, like laundry. See?

Dead clothes.

Okay, that’s not really how I do laundry (usually)(only sometimes)(when I’m super lazy)(and it’s dry clean only, because really? no.).

That is the result of three hours of cleaning out my closet. Oh yes, twenties are going out with a bang.

Random Stuff

So I said I had more stuff. I do.

Sort of.

Kind of. Maybe?

OK, nothing really interesting but just stuff.

We went home for Labor Day. Yay! We spent a few days at the beach celebrating Labor (?) and my dad’s birthday. Two of our best friends joined us with their two year old son.

Cutest. Kid. Ever.

Yeah, all your kids are cute but this one is cuter. I have an awesome picture of him in a hat and sunglasses but my camera doesn’t have the connect-y cord thing so you’ll just have to trust me. So cute.

Great weekend.

My mom is working at the gun range….which is awesome. She is also building her own personal arsenal, so bad guys? Yeah, you may want to skip her house. Just sayin’.

My blog has gone international. It has had viewers (ok probably just one) in Qatar (and John R….this had to be you…so if you read it again, thanks!) and Venezuela (again probably just one) but it totally counts.

Also, I was a little…umm…disturbed when I saw that one of the search terms that led someone to my blog was “torture chamber”. I used this phrase in a post about the gym (which I HATE). What disturbs me, is that someone is searching this term. Really? WTF are you doing with that information?

I am really glad that my blog doesn’t have any location specific information. Really glad.

“They” (those poeple who do things) are messing up my Target. They tell me it is going to be better…but for now…it is wrong. I don’t like it when it’s wrong. They put the books in the back. The back! Wrong.

Harley loves me more than Jacob. This isn’t news…he’s a momma’s boy….but it was still really funny when Jacob tried to pick him up and he walked away and climbed in my lap. Ha! He showed you!

So that’s it…completely random stuff that doesn’t form a cohesive post so I put it in a random, rambling post titled “Random Stuff”. Feel free to skip this post, if you like. Although, if you’ve made it this far, it’s too late for that. Sorry.

Busy Again

So…I’m busy again. Yes, that means I got a new job. You may cheer now.

<Pause for  cheering>

Thank you, thank you. I’m very excited about this and even more excited about the PAYCHECK I got on Friday. Yay paychecks!

Unfortunately, I was still unable to find a job looking at food porn.

Instead, I’m working for a small financial company and am excited to learn about a new industry. Seems like a good company and they treat employees really well. Really, really well. And they only work half days on Fridays. So…yeah that doesn’t suck. This is how I spent my Friday afternoon:

Happy Half-Day Friday!

So…yay job!

So a quick run down of everything else that’s been going on in the last few weeks:

We had some friends over for dinner…I made blueberry-basil margaritas. They were delicious and very healthy as they had both fruit and something green in them.

Our computer crashed. It was bad…I felt a little lost without my food porn. Luckily, after working for a software company, I know some handy tech-y people who will work for cookies.

I found snake number two on our porch. Jacob was less helpful than I hoped with the last snake so I just handled this one on my own. He was smaller than the last one but just as bitey. Here is a picture:

Snake 2.0

We also made a trip to the Emergency Room. In the nine years Jacob and I have been together we have made two trips to the ER. Both have been in the year since we moved to Florida. Conclusion? Florida is bad for our health.

Apparently, Jacob dislocated his toe during a soccer game. I met him at the hospital where the relocating of his toe involved shots, drugs, multiple doctors and lots of screaming.

J’s relocated toe

So that’s most of what happened. There’s more but it’s time for me to eat and food trumps blog. I’ll save it for next time. (Don’t worry…I wrote it down.)

Super Nerd

I am a huge nerd. Huge. I love books. Like, seriously…LOVE. A lot.

When I first moved in with Jacob, I had six months left on the lease on my apartment so I moved slowly. My bookshelves were one of the last things to make the move because they were big. And heavy. Mostly heavy.

Anyway, once we got them in the house Jacob went out to run errands. When he came home he went wandering through our house (actually our condo) looking for me (he obviously wasn’t looking very hard…there are a fairly limited number of places to hide in a two bedroom condo). He found me in the guest room looking at the bookshelves with a huge smile on my face.

Him: What are you doing in here?

Me: Looking at my books!

Him: Well, damn, if I had known they would make you this happy, I’d brought them over six months ago!

All of this is a very long way to point out how much I like books.

I have a “to read” shelf that currently holds 10 books (the record is 27…buying books is kind of an addiction of mine) and I have both a Kindle AND a Nook which each have another five or six. (Yes, I have both a Kindle and a Nook…what part of book nerd do you not understand?)

So anyway, all of this is a preface to the story of what I did last week.

Last week I went to Target. When I go to Target I always visit the books. Usually I see two or three that I want and buy one (as a treat…becuase I’m sure I’ll do something to deserve it at some point) and just remember to add the others to my Nook wishlist.

Now, since I’m not working and I already have approximately 20 books to choose from, I am trying not to buy books. So, of course, I saw about 15 that I wanted to read right now. Right this minute.

I cannot justify buying 15 books. Well, I can (I’ve got mad justification skills!) but not in a way that my husband, or any other reasonable non-book-obsessed person, would consider valid.

Obvious solution? Write down the titles to add to my wishlist. Problem solved, right?

Wrong. I don’t usually carry a pen and paper around with me. Time for a slightly more creative solution.

I have a smart phone. It takes pictures. You see where this is going, don’t you?

Yeah, the super nerd in the book section of Target taking pictures of the covers of all the books she wanted? Yeah…that was me.

Annual Review

We have officially been living in Jacksonville for a year today. We arrived at our temporary home at 8:15 p.m. last July 16th. It’s been a crazy year.

The Good

We sold a condo and bought an amazing house. We started two new jobs. We met some new friends. We’ve had great weekends with a few houseguests. We took a great trip with fabulous friends.

The Bad

We had three funerals. We had one collapsed ceiling. We had one lost job and seven months of unemployment (for me) (almost). We had one hospital visit.

The Rest

I tried countless new recipes. Jacob played a lot of soccer. We’ve worn out I-95 between Florida and North Carolina. Harley became a lizard hunter and has evolved into a turtle hunter. (He still doesn’t like them but he doesn’t hide any more….he even has a “turtle bark” for when he finds one.)

So, yeah….it’s been a year.

It’s been about five weeks since I posted anything (I know, such a slacker!). Since then, my mom has come to visit and we spent a long weekend in NC before the 4th.

Most importantly, we found an Eastern NC style barbecue sandwich here in FL. I can’t begin to tell you how happy I am. Really? Pulled pork with vinegar sauce and mac and cheese on the side? Yes, please!

We took on our first painting project last weekend and painted one of the guest bathrooms. If you saw our guest bath in Charlotte you know it was painted a very…uh…vibrant shade of yellow. Like…Crayola yellow. Jacob did not get a vote in selecting the color this time. Turned out pretty well, I think.

Not bad. Still yellow…just not so…Crayola.

So, that’s about it. A year….

Slacker Blogger

I know I said I’d do a post about our vacation…but…I got distracted. By other people’s blogs. And food porn. Ok…mostly food porn.

So here are the vacation highlights:

It was pretty.

Atlantic on the left, Caribbean on the right,
St. Kitts in the middle, Nevis in the distance

We spent the days being lazy on the beach.

View from my beach chair.

I held a monkey.

Yep, that monkey’s wearing a diaper.

Also, there were a lot of rum drinks…but for some reason I forgot to take pictures of those. So yeah…not a bad way to spend a week.

Since we got back…

It’s June which means that my annual obsession with hurricanes has begun. I check the National Hurricane Center website at least once a day…that goes up to five times a day in August.

Two weeks ago we had our first tropical storm of the year. (Which was in May…before the season started. Hurricanes are cheaters.) No damage…just a lot of noise.

Since then we’ve gotten over 15 inches of rain.

Really, Mother Nature? 15 inches? Was that necessary?

I now have a swamp…with turtles…in my back yard. Also, the garage ceiling collapsed. Ok…not the whole thing. Ok, not even a square foot…but still. Not good.

Very not good.

We’ve had a leak in the roof over the garage since we bought the house. It was one of the things found during the home inspection that the sellers had to get fixed.

Only…it wasn’t. Fixed, I mean. Obviously.

The roof guy has been back out at least twice and still hasn’t managed to fix it. During the monsoon yesterday afternoon…part of the ceiling collapsed. You can imagine how happy the husband was when he got home. Yeah, fun times.

So tomorrow the roof guy is coming AGAIN. Fourth time’s the charm?

What else has been going on?

Oh yeah…we headed to NC for a weekend (the first time we attempted the trip without a long weekend…this will not be a regular occurrence) for a wedding and saw some awesome friends. And had Cook Out. Twice! Almost worth the drive just for a banana milkshake. So…good times.

also, I convinced Jacob to eat something green.

I just wanted an excuse to post a picture of this ’cause it’s pretty. I love pretty food. He did eat it, though.

And I made this for lunch today.

Brie, Nutella and raspberry grilled cheese. So good!

If heaven came in sandwich form…this would be it. It’s gooey and melty and creamy and sweet and tart and salty and so many kinds of awesome. I think I need another….now.

Jerk Pork Tacos with Pineapple Mango Salsa

This is what I had for dinner last night. And it. Was. AWESOME.

Pretty and delicious!

So I thought I would share the recipe with you, in case you like that kinda thing. Disclaimer…I don’t really measure anything…I just make stuff up as I go along…

Pineapple Mango Salsa

1 mango

1 pineapple

1 red bell pepper

1 purple onion

3 jalapenos (Yes, really, 3.)

A bunch of cilantro

1/4 tsp salt

1/4 tsp sugar

1/4 tsp cumin

lime juice…about 1/2 lime

Chop all ingredients (except salt, sugar and cumin…they don’t really need to be chopped) and mix together. Ta-Da! Salsa!

Jerk Pork

1 boston butt

3/4 bottle of KC Masterpiece Carribean Jerk Marinade

1/4 cup orange juice

1/2 cup water

1/4 tspcumin

3/4 tsp cinnamon

3/4 tsp ground ginger

3/4 tsp groung nutmeg

1/4 tsp ground cloves

1/2 tsp garlic powder

1/2 tsp onion powder

4 shakes of the jar crushed red pepper

As far as measurements for the spices…these are really just guesses…I actually have no idea how much I used. I just shook the jars until I thought I had enough. Adjust based on your preferences.

Combine all ingredients in a slow cooker and cook on low all day. I flipped the pork about halfway through the cooking process but I don’t think it will make a difference if you don’t.

Put pulled pork in taco shells and top with salsa for the Best. Dinner. Ever. (Well…this week anyway.)

Working on a post about our vacation….

Be jealous. Very Jealous.

I’m going on vacation. Yay!!!

Why do I need a vacation?

Hey…it’s hard work looking for a job. I deserve a break.

I really have nothing else to share…I’m just excited. In 46 hours we will be landing on the island of St. Kitts and in 45 hours I plan to be on a lounge chair with drink in hand.

What’s that? You’ll miss me?

Well…if I get bored looking at palm trees and blue sea, drinking rum drinks and reading trashy novels…I’ll post. Don’t hold your breath, though. I’m kinda lazy so this sounds like a pretty awesome way to spend a week to me. Throw in a few friends and I may never come home.

Although…Harley will be here, so I probably will. Probably.

PS…A hawk scared off my nesting bird. No baby birds and no magic truck kitten…I think I need a puppy, don’t you?

Random Friday stuff

I haven’t been up to anything crazy exciting this week. Surprised? Yeah me either.

No more magic truck kittens have appeared.

I did, however, see a dragonfly the size of a bird. It was big.

Speaking of birds, I think there’s a bird nesting in my yard. Either that or it just really likes the view of George (my car’s name is George) from my bushes.

My rose’s blooms are so big it fell over and only two of them have opened (it has six more buds). I didn’t have a stake or twine to tie it up so I used dental floss and tied it to itself. Innovative…you can call me MacGyver.

Huge.

Sad.

MacGyver-ed. Happy!

I found this recipe on How Sweet this morning.

Roasted Strawberry, Brie and Chocolate Grilled Cheese

It’s weird. Awesomely weird. Get in my belly weird.

I thought about making it for dinner but decided against it. Partly because it’s Friday and I don’t cook on Fridays. I agree, this is worth cooking on a Friday for, but I don’t want to set a bad precedent.

Also, let’s face it, I haven’t got a prayer of convincing my husband, whose culinary taste leans towards the peanut-butter-no-jelly variety, to touch this with a ten foot pole.

I can hear him now… “Can you make mine with regular cheese? And maybe leave off the chocolate? And the strawberries? And could you add bacon to mine?”

I know. I don’t get it either.